It's been just over 24 hours since my furlough went into effect. I sit here at my desk where I have sat for so many hours in the past... creating. Creating wonderful things for those at work whom I support. That is now on hold. Something else is needed now. Something else is ordained.
Furloughed and shelved, but not on the shelf and certainly not hindered from creating. Yes, when I saw the email from HR on Monday, I was taken aback. I forwarded it to my Director to confirm that it wasn't a mistake. No it wasn't. The full story is for another time and not required here. It was a busy 72 hours. There was so much to put in place. There was so much to capture so that it could be communicated. The vision and plans needed to be shared. Like a ship being set to sea without it's Master Navigator to guide it. I had to set it sail, pointed in the right direction. The direction in which I know they will find a paradise far from that place where monsters be. I will admit that it's brought up questions about control. It's probably a separate conversation. After all, is control, in and of itself, really a bad thing when all is said and done? If a trip to the Moon isn't tightly, absolutely controlled, people die. In the midst of this pandemic, if there is no control around movement, close contact and hygiene, innocents may die. I sit here now to exert control. I sit here to rule least the events beyond my control rule over me. I sit here to enjoy a respite far from the concerns so widely exaggerated on the news. I sit here to be present with that which is precious - my heart. One night in December of 2015, I sat down at my laptop to dig through past journals looking for something specific. An entry that written 20 some odd years prior. I found that entry and savored the thoughts of my 30-something self that it captured. It was on that night a few short years ago in which my Father offered me my writers heart. I accepted it. It is precious to me. It is a revelation of that which I was created to be, that which my Father intended when he said "Let us create David. Let us create him in our image. Let us create him strong and to be strong. Let him bring that strength to our creation and call forth life. Let him be a son to us that we should be a Father to him." In the months that followed, I captured in 10,000 words and 20 pages a story of my heart. Chapter 1 I named it. A few months later, I started on Chapter 2, or at least what I thought would be Chapter 2. It was quickly abandoned. It was not yet time. I can see myself writing a book. This blog may evolve into it or it may not. What transpires will transpire as it should and when it should. It was the thought of tending to my writers heart in this time of nothing that drove me here. The prayer was simple. "Let good come from this time. Let not this time be wasted. Let us create." And so I shall rule over this time. I shall rule over that which has been provided to me. I shall point myself in the direction in which I know a paradise is to be found. A valley vast and wide and beautiful. The valley that is my heart. I have set Adam, Sarah, Saurabh and the others in the direction that they must go. They sail without their Master Navigator for he is needed elsewhere. He must set sail on another voyage.
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